Climbing that hill. Or mountain.

Hello friends!  It's time to talk about the bit of damage I did while on vacation -- in numbers.  Eeeek!

So, before I left, I was one pound away from goal.  Well, the Thursday weigh-in of the week we returned yielded not-so-surprising results:  164.9 lbs.  Ouch!  But remember -- I knew exactly what I was getting into when I ate delicious hometown pizza and engaged in very little physical activity.  Can't say I was disappointed.  I got motivated again!  This isn't some slippery slope I'm rolling down...just a bunny hill that's slowed me down.

As mentioned previously, I've hit Weight Watchers hard again.  I am tracking everything and enjoying the regularity and calming effect it has on me.  It keeps me from asking "what if" because it's all black and white.  You choose the foods, the app tells you the points.  From there, you decide if it's worth it.  And a week of getting back to it meant that yesterday's weigh-in was pretty darn good -- I'm back down to 162.9 -- two pounds off.

Charlie and I also started running again, which is clearly an important step in training for a half marathon.  Right now, we are simply focusing on getting our running legs back.  We've run 4.5 miles this week, and would have loved to get more in this morning.  However, if you haven't heard, Dallas (and Texas in general) is suffering from the worst West Nile break out since 2002.  There hasn't been an aerial assault on these little monsters in since the 60's, but North Texas is home to 17 confirmed deaths this summer...and Dallas county is home to 10 of the 17 deaths.  In fact, I am hearing about it on GMA right now.  There have been 200 confirmed cases of West Nile in Dallas alone.  It has been called a state of emergency, so now the aerial spraying is the mayor's last choice, really.  I'm not a fan of either -- West Nile, or pesticides -- so I think I'm staying inside.

In spite of all of this craziness, Charlie and I are very serious about getting the work done to perform well in this race!  Well, I'd simply like to finish it!  In fact, I am hoping that I can manage to lose another 10 pounds following goal weight, but I need to get to goal first!  But losing the additional weight will only make it easier for me to compete in the race -- and healthier in the long run.

I'd love to ask any readers to join me in getting active.  Races in the fall are a lot of fun -- the weather is usually pretty decent -- and who doesn't love a race called the Turkey Trot?  I suggest looking up 5k or One Mile Fun Runs in your area.  Try it out!  I've become addicted to the feeling of running with hundreds or thousands of other people.  And if running isn't your thing, it's plenty fun and good for you to walk a 5k!

Now I must head off...GMA is doing a special segment on weight loss.  They are interviewing the individuals who were highlighted in the most recent issue of People magazine -- all of them have lost 100+ lbs!  Good ol' hard work paying off...inspiring stuff!

Biggest Losers

Just saw this online and wanted to share it.  These transformations are beyond amazing and are truly inspirational!!

http://fitbie.msn.com/slideshow/what-it-feels-lose-100-pounds/slide/13

Vacation!

Well, hello there! 

Yes, it has been awhile yet again, but I am ready to get this thing rolling again -- along with my weight loss endeavors!

My husband and I just returned to Dallas from our stomping grounds -- Michigan.  We were in the Great Lake State for two wonderfully fullfilling and incredibly indulgent weeks.  And by indulgent, I mean in every way.  I always feel totally fine saying, "It's okay, I'm on vacation!" until I get home and realize that my fatigue is only partially thanks to whirlwind visits with friends and family, lack of sleep, and 20 hours of driving.  The majority of my puffiness overall lack of energy is thanks to -- you guessed it -- junk eating and overdoing it.  Oh, and I can't forget the drinks...oh dear.  It's time to get back to work!

Before leaving for Michigan, I weighed in at 161.  I've hovered right around goal weight for a while now.  I suppose if you've read other posts, you already know that!  :)  I told myself that once I got back to the Big D, I'd get my big ol' booty inactive and overfed bottom back to counting points and exercising regularly.  After all, I'm not some prize winning animal in a 4H program -- I'm a newlywed preparing for fall and winter months.  You know, the months when pumpkin spice and sweet snickerdoodle smells are always in the air if you live at Bath & Body Works.  I love to bake delicious treats in the coming months and must prepare diligently -- it's time to break out the Weight Watcher recipes and get creative with sugar/oil/egg substitutes! 

Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but it's true to my nature to overthink and worry about the future.  But as I think I've mentioned before, my weight and the food I use to nourish my body is something I can control.  If I prepare now for the onslaught of delicious treats, I may be able to avoid eating way too much of the wrong foods.  Yes, my battle plans are converging!  As I prepare for the fall and winter months like a squirrel packing away nuts, I'll be sure to include my findings here in my bloggity blog.

In the meantime, keep checking in and reminding me to write in this thing.  I know I've been bad at it, so I am not beyond asking for help.  My hope is to reach goal weight (160) and then attempt another 10 pounds!  Ah yes, a svelt 150 sounds just about perfect!  Suppose I can aim to be there before Christmas...what a wonderful gift to myself that would be!

And one more thing before I sign off -- looks like Charlie and I will be doing the Dallas Half-Marathon on December 9th.  Must register soon!  Very few things motivate me to run quite like dropping $100 on a race!  So worth it.  :)

Confidence is beautiful

So many wonderful days have passed.  Charlie and I flew to Michigan on Friday to be a part of a wedding celebration of two of our best friends.  Seeing all of our close and very dear friends from Michigan is always such a special treat.  It's incredible that six months may pass without a hug -- but as soon as we are with one another again, it's like we pick up where we left off -- and there are lots of hugs to make up for all we missed! 

By the time I got to see all of these friends at Christmas/the New Year, I had already lost nearly 30 pounds.  Since then, I've lost almost another 30.  Setting aside the numbers and math, I think the biggest difference I have experienced is the change in confidence.  Less worried about what people think, and more interested in just enjoying myself.  I put on my beautiful bridesmaid dress, a killer pair of heels, and a smile -- and hadn't felt this beautiful since my own wedding day.  It was enigmatic and absolutely incredible.  All of our special and wonderful friends had accepted me as I was, and as I am now, and they've all continued to be so supportive and loving.


I no longer feel trapped in the body and mind of a girl seeking acceptance and guidance.  Instead, I am starting to feel like a woman with purpose.  How fitting it seems to have come across this realization while several thousand feet in the air. 

Report Card

Diet?  Derailed.  Lifestyle -- still on track...ish.

In the world in which I am currently living, sleep has been my biggest concern.  Sleep is important for weight loss, among SEVERAL other things.  Also, my stress level is high and I can't seem to shut my brain off long enough to get a good stretch of restless sleep.  I have gotten reeeeeally good at falling asleep while sitting up.  At 8:00pm.  On Friday nights.  I love Summer Camp, and I am in love with what I do, but I am wiped out!!

What I am trying to say is...I've lost a little bit of my punch.  My zing.  My go get 'em attitude toward these last stinkin' pounds.  I have not and I will not admit failure because I am so close!!  This last pound better surrender, but I know it won't go down with out a fight.

In good news, according to my last weight in I am 1.2 lbs away from goal.  I went to the doctor last week, and for the first time ever, I was excited to get on the scale.  The fat girl inside me shuddered, but I got on that device and smiled like a crazed teenage beauty queen with petroleum jelly on her teeth.  According to that fancy schmancy doctor scale, I was only .2 lbs from goal.  After sharing this news on facebook, and old friend of mine said, "Accounting for the weight of your clothes, you have hit your goal."  I hadn't thought of it like that -- and I won't. 

My scale will read the results to me.  It has become something like an old friend -- reliable, inspiring, truthful, and capable of putting up with me.  Each morning, when I pull it out from under my bed and place it lovingly on the white tile floor of the bathroom, something sort of zen-like happens:  One deep breath.  One foot.  Two feet.  Steady -- look down.  Another deep breath.  Think about results.

I've continued this same Thursday morning ritual, but I've got to be honest -- I have not been counting points or tracking activity.  For the past three weeks, I've spent each weekday outside from 8:00 am to 2:30 pm, in Texas heat, walking the grounds of the Country Club with a backpack on.  I swear I must sweat a gallon or two each day.  The kids are served the most ridiculously kid-friendly foods from a buffet, which is where my food comes from as well.  I love chicken tenders, hot dogs, mac and cheese...but those things do not love me!

I don't overindulge, and maybe that, paired with the insane amount of walking/sweating I do each day, is the reason I have managed to hover right around the same number.  Not really gaining much, not really losing much, but hovering menacingly around that dream number.  Scratch that -- reality number.  I've maybe lost some of my excitement with the introduction of missing sleep and increased stress, but I will hit that stinkin' goal!

I've got my handy dandy vitals print out from the doctor hanging like a report card on the refrigerator.  With only 1.2 lbs to go, I've got to earn that A+ I set out to achieve. 

Support -- great for bras AND weight loss!

For the gals out there with a sincere appreciation for a good bra -- you know the importance of support and comfort.  Think of what it feels like when you throw on an old one with stretched out elastic.  Funny how that undergarment can make you feel less attractive and uncomfortable, right?  Well, that's pretty much how I feel about support from loved ones in my weight loss journey.

I am so fortunate to have an outstanding support system.  I chose to start this journey on my own, but I could never have achieved the success I've had without the encouragement, the kind words, and the simple reminders I have received from my loved ones.

At work one day, a member of the Country Club said, "Carlie, you look absolutely fabulous!  You're husband must feel like he's got a brand new wife!"  I laughed a little, thanked her for the compliment, and walked away feeling sort embarrassed...and ashamed.  I got really upset with myself for waiting until AFTER the wedding to start losing weight.  I was just angry about how I had completely let myself go.  The idea that my husband might have ever thought me less attractive at my heaviest simply broke my heart, even though this was never the case.

As I've said before, this weight loss journey started for me.  It is still for me.  But I've gotta say, it's been a great experience for both of us.  Charlie hasn't gotten a new wife -- he's still just got me.  But he does have a more confident, more energetic, and much happier me.  We both appreciate this.

Charlie is so honest, so loving, and so supportive of all of my endeavors (like learning to play the banjo, writing more poetry, etc).  My mother and my in-laws are understanding and full of great advice.  My friends are all of this AND they love to celebrate.  How blessed am I to have all of this?

It's true...my family and friends are the Spanx of all undergarments.

I haven't actually disappeared...

Wow, I cannot believe the way time passes when life is just somersaulting from month to month.  My wonderful mother-in-law mentioned to me over a week ago that I've been away from this blog and that she and her Weight Watchers group were wondering where the heck I'd gone off to.  Well, I'm back!  And I need this.  Badly.  Because unfortunately, I am without a whole lot of great weight-loss news.

The week before last, I was down one pound, putting me at 164.  The poundage is coming off soooo muuuuuuch mooooooore slooooooooooooowly right now, but I understand it as my body letting me know that I set a realistic goal.  Since that weigh-in, work has been absolutely insane.  As a Youth Activities Coordinator with Summer Camp just around the corner, it's just been a little hectic.  And the weekend following that one-pound loss was a bit more party-rific than it should have been.  I felt entitled, like I was allowed to let loose or to wind-down.  This, to some extent, is okay.  But I went out of control.

And last weigh-in, I found that I gained .7 lbs right back.  4.7 lbs to go.

Sure, I was disappointed.  I wasn't expecting loss, but was less than thrilled with gaining nearly a full pound back.  But I certainly didn't dwell on it.  This is when it's important to understand to accept what I cannot change and change what I cannot accept.  I can't time travel back to that Friday night margarita and queso Mexi-fest with friends.  We had a fabulous time!  But my body has taught me that I can have a an insanely good time without going out of control with food and drinks.  My brain has taught me that I cannot accept failing in this journey.  I've made it this far and there are no excuses not to keep it up.

A great rule that I need to embrace more thoroughly is to avoid drinking calories/points.  Or at least set a cap on drinkable points per day. Crystal light is my best friend...and Mio!  Water is absolutely essential in losing weight.

Maybe a part of me stayed away from the blog because I didn't want to have to confront the weight gain by letting everyone know.  I'm not entirely sure...but I know that I am not ashamed.  There's was a serious sense of pride and joy when I lost the first 5, 10,  20 pounds.  I can say I've lost over 50 now.  That pride still resonates and reminds me that I am in control.  We are in control. We can make the changes to things we will not accept.