Monday, September 10, 2012

Tick tock, tick tock...

Well friends, it's been nearly time to celebrate the first wedding anniversary with my husband -- and the one year mark of my weight loss adventure.  I can hardly believe it!

For our anniversary, I think we will take a trip to the jewelry store and get my wedding rings resized!  It's been a long time coming, but it seems an appropriate time to go ahead and get it done.  I just haven't wanted to part with them, but the one year mark for both life events seems to bring a sense of calm.  After all, the weight loss is the reason I need them sized.

The only downside of all of this year-long excitement is that I am feeling a little anxious about my overall goal.  I have not yet officially hit my weight loss goal.  In fact, I am back up to 162.8, which is one pound heavier than my previous post.  This constant back and forth has been annoying, but I am clearly not doing all of the work to get what I want.   I am absolutely not going to accept it any longer -- I will be at or beyond goal by October 1.  The only thing I accept right now is that I know I will be upset with myself if I can't say I've lost 60 pounds in one year.  Yes, I know 58.2 is close, but close just doesn't cut it!

And remember, I mentioned some time ago that I'd like to lose an additional 10 pounds -- and I haven't forgotten that I said that.  I still believe I can do it, and with belief...well, there's will, and with will...well you know the rest! :)

I am thinking I need to start trying something new along with my regular routine, just to get these last few pounds off!  More green tea in the morning to start the day right.  Bigger spinach salad, one less turkey bacon strip on my BLT.  I. Can. Do. This.

I am truly proud of how far I've come, but I cannot quit.  Hitting this goal means the world to me -- and I hope my finally reaching it will inspire others to do the same.

Ready.  Set.  Goal.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Runnin' runnin' runnin'

Once I got over the burning calves, heavy breathing, and butt jiggles the extreme need for compression pants and an extra sports bra, I really started to enjoy running.

It all started out by running half a mile a few times a week.  I would be sore for a day after a short run, which was super discouraging.  I'm totally serious when I say that I owe a great deal of my running success to compression pants.  All that extra bouncing around created soreness I couldn't even begin to explain -- not that you'd really want to read about that, anyway.  With the introduction of jiggle control, my endurance improved.  Instead of focusing on the discomfort, I started to learn to focus on the goal and the end result.

The first time I ran a full mile occurred one day while Charlie was working.  I was home and feeling restless, so I pushed myself out the door and made the pledge that I would make a mile -- and I did it.  I called Charlie immediately following the run, gushing all about the excitement I was experiencing.  Then I said something along the lines of, "And when it was over, I really felt like I could have run even more!"  After that crept out of my mouth, I realized how much of a mental battle running can be.  Ever since then I haven't settled for any less than a mile, especially since losing some of the weight that wiggled around.

                               Before: July 4, 2011.  After:  August 21, 2012

There's no doubt -- running is still a challenge.  Some days, it just isn't fun.  Some days, my legs just don't feel good.  I never really know until I get out there.  So, we just go.  At the very least, we are out for a mile and getting the dogs some exercise as well.  And now that TX seems to be creeping into fall early this year (which really just means we might be escaping anymore 100 degree days), the nasty weather simply doesn't make a good excuse! 

So, we continue to get our running legs back into shape!  That half marathon is totally happening!

Oh, and before I forget -- today was weigh-in day...and I am down 1.1 lbs this week! 

Starting weight, October 2011:  220
Today's weight:  161.8

Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Plumping Past

Some days I find myself thinking about how I managed to get to 220 lbs.  I remember weighing somewhere around 175 before graduating from High School.  I started High School somewhere in the 150-160 range and gained after my father passed away my Sophomore year.  Then, I remember getting ready for class my Freshman year of college and seeing serious weight gain staring back at me from a cheap mirror hung on the backside of my dorm room door.  That mirror showed me something I didn't think was possible unless I were pregnant.  I had denied the fact that my pants were feeling tighter, but I couldn't deny the dark purple stretch marks that started to surround my belly button like a series of hideous parentheses.

I spent the rest of my time in college fearing that if I raised both arms in the air, my shirt may creep up and show the dark marks of my poor decisions.  After all, I wasn't creating a safe home to nourish and grow another human life -- I was simply shoving my face full of college buffet grilled cheese, delicious college town pub grub and greasy, well-known college town pizza.  My belly was showing me that I'd had one too many cheap vodka drinks and spent too much time partying and not enough time getting good sleep.  Those stretch marks slapped me across my face and for the first time, I was thoroughly disappointed in myself.

Like many young people, I checked out fad diets and dropped some weight in unhealthy ways.  Once Charlie and become more than just friends, I felt like it was even more important to lose weight.  I grew to a size 18 Freshman year and was a size 16 when I graduated.  Charlie and I were happy and comfortable together.  We moved to Texas, got settled in, and I gained the weight and the pants size back.  In fact, the size 18's started to feel tight.  The purple marks had faded to white, but I was so tired all of the time.  This constant lethargy paired with some pretty nasty mood swings made me think more about health issues and a little less about the need to buy a new pair of jeans.

My family history is riddled with a medical rainbow of health issues and causes of death.  Cancers, diabetes, heart disease...obesity.  I had never thought of it until then (you know, the kind of deep thought that comes over you like a wave) but obesity was something I was suffering from.  A mix of genetics and poor choices were making me fat, and let's face it -- only one of those things is something we have control over.

It's difficult to share some things.  The marks on my belly have faded and my strength has gotten bolder.  They remind me of a time when I lost myself, a time when I was uncomfortable and self-conscious. It's rare that I focus on them at all anymore.  I just don't see them.  I see happiness.  Healthiness. Comfort. Love.  Respect for myself.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Climbing that hill. Or mountain.

Hello friends!  It's time to talk about the bit of damage I did while on vacation -- in numbers.  Eeeek!

So, before I left, I was one pound away from goal.  Well, the Thursday weigh-in of the week we returned yielded not-so-surprising results:  164.9 lbs.  Ouch!  But remember -- I knew exactly what I was getting into when I ate delicious hometown pizza and engaged in very little physical activity.  Can't say I was disappointed.  I got motivated again!  This isn't some slippery slope I'm rolling down...just a bunny hill that's slowed me down.

As mentioned previously, I've hit Weight Watchers hard again.  I am tracking everything and enjoying the regularity and calming effect it has on me.  It keeps me from asking "what if" because it's all black and white.  You choose the foods, the app tells you the points.  From there, you decide if it's worth it.  And a week of getting back to it meant that yesterday's weigh-in was pretty darn good -- I'm back down to 162.9 -- two pounds off.

Charlie and I also started running again, which is clearly an important step in training for a half marathon.  Right now, we are simply focusing on getting our running legs back.  We've run 4.5 miles this week, and would have loved to get more in this morning.  However, if you haven't heard, Dallas (and Texas in general) is suffering from the worst West Nile break out since 2002.  There hasn't been an aerial assault on these little monsters in since the 60's, but North Texas is home to 17 confirmed deaths this summer...and Dallas county is home to 10 of the 17 deaths.  In fact, I am hearing about it on GMA right now.  There have been 200 confirmed cases of West Nile in Dallas alone.  It has been called a state of emergency, so now the aerial spraying is the mayor's last choice, really.  I'm not a fan of either -- West Nile, or pesticides -- so I think I'm staying inside.

In spite of all of this craziness, Charlie and I are very serious about getting the work done to perform well in this race!  Well, I'd simply like to finish it!  In fact, I am hoping that I can manage to lose another 10 pounds following goal weight, but I need to get to goal first!  But losing the additional weight will only make it easier for me to compete in the race -- and healthier in the long run.

I'd love to ask any readers to join me in getting active.  Races in the fall are a lot of fun -- the weather is usually pretty decent -- and who doesn't love a race called the Turkey Trot?  I suggest looking up 5k or One Mile Fun Runs in your area.  Try it out!  I've become addicted to the feeling of running with hundreds or thousands of other people.  And if running isn't your thing, it's plenty fun and good for you to walk a 5k!

Now I must head off...GMA is doing a special segment on weight loss.  They are interviewing the individuals who were highlighted in the most recent issue of People magazine -- all of them have lost 100+ lbs!  Good ol' hard work paying off...inspiring stuff!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Biggest Losers

Just saw this online and wanted to share it.  These transformations are beyond amazing and are truly inspirational!!

http://fitbie.msn.com/slideshow/what-it-feels-lose-100-pounds/slide/13

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Vacation!

Well, hello there! 

Yes, it has been awhile yet again, but I am ready to get this thing rolling again -- along with my weight loss endeavors!

My husband and I just returned to Dallas from our stomping grounds -- Michigan.  We were in the Great Lake State for two wonderfully fullfilling and incredibly indulgent weeks.  And by indulgent, I mean in every way.  I always feel totally fine saying, "It's okay, I'm on vacation!" until I get home and realize that my fatigue is only partially thanks to whirlwind visits with friends and family, lack of sleep, and 20 hours of driving.  The majority of my puffiness overall lack of energy is thanks to -- you guessed it -- junk eating and overdoing it.  Oh, and I can't forget the drinks...oh dear.  It's time to get back to work!

Before leaving for Michigan, I weighed in at 161.  I've hovered right around goal weight for a while now.  I suppose if you've read other posts, you already know that!  :)  I told myself that once I got back to the Big D, I'd get my big ol' booty inactive and overfed bottom back to counting points and exercising regularly.  After all, I'm not some prize winning animal in a 4H program -- I'm a newlywed preparing for fall and winter months.  You know, the months when pumpkin spice and sweet snickerdoodle smells are always in the air if you live at Bath & Body Works.  I love to bake delicious treats in the coming months and must prepare diligently -- it's time to break out the Weight Watcher recipes and get creative with sugar/oil/egg substitutes! 

Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but it's true to my nature to overthink and worry about the future.  But as I think I've mentioned before, my weight and the food I use to nourish my body is something I can control.  If I prepare now for the onslaught of delicious treats, I may be able to avoid eating way too much of the wrong foods.  Yes, my battle plans are converging!  As I prepare for the fall and winter months like a squirrel packing away nuts, I'll be sure to include my findings here in my bloggity blog.

In the meantime, keep checking in and reminding me to write in this thing.  I know I've been bad at it, so I am not beyond asking for help.  My hope is to reach goal weight (160) and then attempt another 10 pounds!  Ah yes, a svelt 150 sounds just about perfect!  Suppose I can aim to be there before Christmas...what a wonderful gift to myself that would be!

And one more thing before I sign off -- looks like Charlie and I will be doing the Dallas Half-Marathon on December 9th.  Must register soon!  Very few things motivate me to run quite like dropping $100 on a race!  So worth it.  :)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Confidence is beautiful

So many wonderful days have passed.  Charlie and I flew to Michigan on Friday to be a part of a wedding celebration of two of our best friends.  Seeing all of our close and very dear friends from Michigan is always such a special treat.  It's incredible that six months may pass without a hug -- but as soon as we are with one another again, it's like we pick up where we left off -- and there are lots of hugs to make up for all we missed! 

By the time I got to see all of these friends at Christmas/the New Year, I had already lost nearly 30 pounds.  Since then, I've lost almost another 30.  Setting aside the numbers and math, I think the biggest difference I have experienced is the change in confidence.  Less worried about what people think, and more interested in just enjoying myself.  I put on my beautiful bridesmaid dress, a killer pair of heels, and a smile -- and hadn't felt this beautiful since my own wedding day.  It was enigmatic and absolutely incredible.  All of our special and wonderful friends had accepted me as I was, and as I am now, and they've all continued to be so supportive and loving.


I no longer feel trapped in the body and mind of a girl seeking acceptance and guidance.  Instead, I am starting to feel like a woman with purpose.  How fitting it seems to have come across this realization while several thousand feet in the air.