I DID IT!

I hit my goal weight!  That's 60 pounds GONE!  The feelings of pride and achievement overwhelmed me when I looked down at the scale.  I am so glad that Charlie was there to witness it!  I looked up at him and he gave me an one heck of an intense high five for 5:30 am!  This is one achievement that has me feeling so incredible -- it's difficult to explain!

After I nearly wet myself with joy, I asked myself, "Now what?" and as I expressed in a previous post, it's not quitting time!  I've set an additional goal to lose another 10 pounds!  Weight Watchers categorizes a healthy weight for my height and age to be between 129-155 pounds.  I can do that!  In fact, I feel like I can do anything!  So empowered!

Beginning weight:  220
Pants size:  18
Dress size:  16

Current weight:  159.6
Pants:  10/12
Dress:  8/10

Feeling so GOOD!

So close!

Well friends...I hoped a great deal, but I did not meet my goal on Thursday.  I stepped on the scale, looked down, and read 160.1.  A TENTH OF A POUND AWAY!  Goodness gracious.  It's still loss, it's still closer...

It's been difficult to run since the 10K.  It seems as though I might have done a number on my right foot.  My boss thinks it's plantar fasciitis, which makes sense based on what I've read about it and what she's told me.  This is no bueno!  I didn't run all of last week, and my foot started to feel quite a bit better.  Then, on Saturday morning, I pushed myself out the door and enjoyed a 2.43 mile run with my dog Shenzi.  After I got home and took a shower, I stepped out of the tub and felt the terrible pain again.  This is what I get for jumping into a race that I wasn't particularly prepared for in the way that I should have been.

Lesson learned, folks -- you've got to train for these sorts of things!  Properly train, that is.  Now I've got foot trouble and worries that a half marathon might not be in my December schedule....

10K Finisher!

I woke up this morning feeling pretty sore so accomplished!!  Charlie and I ran the 10K race yesterday and did better than we expected!  I ran the whole thing.  No walking for this girl!!!  That was my goal -- to run the whole thing, no matter the pace.  And really, I'm not nearly as sore as I thought I'd be, but the hilly course did do a little number on my knees -- they took a beating going down the hills.  I've got to say though...there are very few things that can make you feel that much like a super sweaty beast  rock star.

 My time:  1:10:44 -- not too shabby for the longest race I have ever completed.  Bring it on, half marathon!

Charlie's time: 53:48.  He placed 227 out of 1390...pretty darn good if you ask me, being that he hadn't been working on his speed!

Just me, hanging with the fall goodies post-race at the arboretum. 

Charlie and I -- nearly one year married!  Celebrating our first year of marriage and our accomplishments together.  If this is what we are doing to celebrate one year, imagine the years to come!  :)

My boss, her husband, and her sweet baby came to cheer us on.  I would say the hardest part about running races is not having our families around to come out and celebrate -- but it sure was wonderful having part of our Dallas fam show support.  

After the race, we enjoyed some of the free food and beverages that the sponsors were providing.  There were breakfast burritos, slices of pizza, small cones filled with frozen yogurt, and beer.  Blue Moon.  Let's just say that all of the activity points I had accumulated from the race were destroyed by the beers I enjoyed, but the ridiculous early morning beer buzz  hilarity of munching on breakfast and drinking a few beers just seemed too good to pass up.  :)

Well, tomorrow is our actual anniversary date, and I simply can't be more proud of the people we have become together.  I'm so thankful for the immense support I get from friends and family, near and far...but I am especially thankful for the man that keeps me sane motivated and assured.  Here's to another year of healthy goals to enrich a happy life together.  

Weigh-in on Thursday -- hope to be at my goal!

10K - tomorrow!

This week has been pretty busy.  Charlie is working hard both in his teaching job and his performing gig.  I've been working all sorts of funny hours to help cover areas due to a nasty stomach bug that has been going around.  Anyway, with all of this craziness, I decided to add one more element: our first 10K!

I might be a little crazy, especially since I have never run more than 5 miles.  BUT, I know we can do it.  I was enjoying a slow morning on Tuesday because I didn't have to be to work untl around 11.  Following GMA, Good Morning Texas is on -- not a huge fan.  I think the gals on this morning show are suuuper annoying. Anywho,  I am glad I left it on while I started getting ready because that's how I heard about the Tour des Fleurs 10K & 20K at the Dallas Arboretum!  I immediately texted Charlie to ask him whether or not he thought it sounded fun...when he said "yes" I registered the two of us. Happy Anniversary!!  What a great way to celebrate!

The race starts at 8:00am tomorrow morning.  Afterward, there is an after party at the arboretum.  I am so EXCITED!  We will get to wander around and check it out -- we haven't been there since Charlie's family came to visit for his Master's recital a year and a half ago.  The Chihuly exhibit is still there and everyone in Dallas has said something about how incredible it is.  I can't wait -- I might just pee my pants in this nervous excitement!

Also, I weighed in on Thursday -- down 1.8 lbs!  So, ONE POUND TO GO!!!  I've got this...especially with a 6.2 mile race tomorrow!

Tick tock, tick tock...

Well friends, it's been nearly time to celebrate the first wedding anniversary with my husband -- and the one year mark of my weight loss adventure.  I can hardly believe it!

For our anniversary, I think we will take a trip to the jewelry store and get my wedding rings resized!  It's been a long time coming, but it seems an appropriate time to go ahead and get it done.  I just haven't wanted to part with them, but the one year mark for both life events seems to bring a sense of calm.  After all, the weight loss is the reason I need them sized.

The only downside of all of this year-long excitement is that I am feeling a little anxious about my overall goal.  I have not yet officially hit my weight loss goal.  In fact, I am back up to 162.8, which is one pound heavier than my previous post.  This constant back and forth has been annoying, but I am clearly not doing all of the work to get what I want.   I am absolutely not going to accept it any longer -- I will be at or beyond goal by October 1.  The only thing I accept right now is that I know I will be upset with myself if I can't say I've lost 60 pounds in one year.  Yes, I know 58.2 is close, but close just doesn't cut it!

And remember, I mentioned some time ago that I'd like to lose an additional 10 pounds -- and I haven't forgotten that I said that.  I still believe I can do it, and with belief...well, there's will, and with will...well you know the rest! :)

I am thinking I need to start trying something new along with my regular routine, just to get these last few pounds off!  More green tea in the morning to start the day right.  Bigger spinach salad, one less turkey bacon strip on my BLT.  I. Can. Do. This.

I am truly proud of how far I've come, but I cannot quit.  Hitting this goal means the world to me -- and I hope my finally reaching it will inspire others to do the same.

Ready.  Set.  Goal.

Runnin' runnin' runnin'

Once I got over the burning calves, heavy breathing, and butt jiggles the extreme need for compression pants and an extra sports bra, I really started to enjoy running.

It all started out by running half a mile a few times a week.  I would be sore for a day after a short run, which was super discouraging.  I'm totally serious when I say that I owe a great deal of my running success to compression pants.  All that extra bouncing around created soreness I couldn't even begin to explain -- not that you'd really want to read about that, anyway.  With the introduction of jiggle control, my endurance improved.  Instead of focusing on the discomfort, I started to learn to focus on the goal and the end result.

The first time I ran a full mile occurred one day while Charlie was working.  I was home and feeling restless, so I pushed myself out the door and made the pledge that I would make a mile -- and I did it.  I called Charlie immediately following the run, gushing all about the excitement I was experiencing.  Then I said something along the lines of, "And when it was over, I really felt like I could have run even more!"  After that crept out of my mouth, I realized how much of a mental battle running can be.  Ever since then I haven't settled for any less than a mile, especially since losing some of the weight that wiggled around.

                               Before: July 4, 2011.  After:  August 21, 2012

There's no doubt -- running is still a challenge.  Some days, it just isn't fun.  Some days, my legs just don't feel good.  I never really know until I get out there.  So, we just go.  At the very least, we are out for a mile and getting the dogs some exercise as well.  And now that TX seems to be creeping into fall early this year (which really just means we might be escaping anymore 100 degree days), the nasty weather simply doesn't make a good excuse! 

So, we continue to get our running legs back into shape!  That half marathon is totally happening!

Oh, and before I forget -- today was weigh-in day...and I am down 1.1 lbs this week! 

Starting weight, October 2011:  220
Today's weight:  161.8

The Plumping Past

Some days I find myself thinking about how I managed to get to 220 lbs.  I remember weighing somewhere around 175 before graduating from High School.  I started High School somewhere in the 150-160 range and gained after my father passed away my Sophomore year.  Then, I remember getting ready for class my Freshman year of college and seeing serious weight gain staring back at me from a cheap mirror hung on the backside of my dorm room door.  That mirror showed me something I didn't think was possible unless I were pregnant.  I had denied the fact that my pants were feeling tighter, but I couldn't deny the dark purple stretch marks that started to surround my belly button like a series of hideous parentheses.

I spent the rest of my time in college fearing that if I raised both arms in the air, my shirt may creep up and show the dark marks of my poor decisions.  After all, I wasn't creating a safe home to nourish and grow another human life -- I was simply shoving my face full of college buffet grilled cheese, delicious college town pub grub and greasy, well-known college town pizza.  My belly was showing me that I'd had one too many cheap vodka drinks and spent too much time partying and not enough time getting good sleep.  Those stretch marks slapped me across my face and for the first time, I was thoroughly disappointed in myself.

Like many young people, I checked out fad diets and dropped some weight in unhealthy ways.  Once Charlie and become more than just friends, I felt like it was even more important to lose weight.  I grew to a size 18 Freshman year and was a size 16 when I graduated.  Charlie and I were happy and comfortable together.  We moved to Texas, got settled in, and I gained the weight and the pants size back.  In fact, the size 18's started to feel tight.  The purple marks had faded to white, but I was so tired all of the time.  This constant lethargy paired with some pretty nasty mood swings made me think more about health issues and a little less about the need to buy a new pair of jeans.

My family history is riddled with a medical rainbow of health issues and causes of death.  Cancers, diabetes, heart disease...obesity.  I had never thought of it until then (you know, the kind of deep thought that comes over you like a wave) but obesity was something I was suffering from.  A mix of genetics and poor choices were making me fat, and let's face it -- only one of those things is something we have control over.

It's difficult to share some things.  The marks on my belly have faded and my strength has gotten bolder.  They remind me of a time when I lost myself, a time when I was uncomfortable and self-conscious. It's rare that I focus on them at all anymore.  I just don't see them.  I see happiness.  Healthiness. Comfort. Love.  Respect for myself.

Climbing that hill. Or mountain.

Hello friends!  It's time to talk about the bit of damage I did while on vacation -- in numbers.  Eeeek!

So, before I left, I was one pound away from goal.  Well, the Thursday weigh-in of the week we returned yielded not-so-surprising results:  164.9 lbs.  Ouch!  But remember -- I knew exactly what I was getting into when I ate delicious hometown pizza and engaged in very little physical activity.  Can't say I was disappointed.  I got motivated again!  This isn't some slippery slope I'm rolling down...just a bunny hill that's slowed me down.

As mentioned previously, I've hit Weight Watchers hard again.  I am tracking everything and enjoying the regularity and calming effect it has on me.  It keeps me from asking "what if" because it's all black and white.  You choose the foods, the app tells you the points.  From there, you decide if it's worth it.  And a week of getting back to it meant that yesterday's weigh-in was pretty darn good -- I'm back down to 162.9 -- two pounds off.

Charlie and I also started running again, which is clearly an important step in training for a half marathon.  Right now, we are simply focusing on getting our running legs back.  We've run 4.5 miles this week, and would have loved to get more in this morning.  However, if you haven't heard, Dallas (and Texas in general) is suffering from the worst West Nile break out since 2002.  There hasn't been an aerial assault on these little monsters in since the 60's, but North Texas is home to 17 confirmed deaths this summer...and Dallas county is home to 10 of the 17 deaths.  In fact, I am hearing about it on GMA right now.  There have been 200 confirmed cases of West Nile in Dallas alone.  It has been called a state of emergency, so now the aerial spraying is the mayor's last choice, really.  I'm not a fan of either -- West Nile, or pesticides -- so I think I'm staying inside.

In spite of all of this craziness, Charlie and I are very serious about getting the work done to perform well in this race!  Well, I'd simply like to finish it!  In fact, I am hoping that I can manage to lose another 10 pounds following goal weight, but I need to get to goal first!  But losing the additional weight will only make it easier for me to compete in the race -- and healthier in the long run.

I'd love to ask any readers to join me in getting active.  Races in the fall are a lot of fun -- the weather is usually pretty decent -- and who doesn't love a race called the Turkey Trot?  I suggest looking up 5k or One Mile Fun Runs in your area.  Try it out!  I've become addicted to the feeling of running with hundreds or thousands of other people.  And if running isn't your thing, it's plenty fun and good for you to walk a 5k!

Now I must head off...GMA is doing a special segment on weight loss.  They are interviewing the individuals who were highlighted in the most recent issue of People magazine -- all of them have lost 100+ lbs!  Good ol' hard work paying off...inspiring stuff!

Biggest Losers

Just saw this online and wanted to share it.  These transformations are beyond amazing and are truly inspirational!!

http://fitbie.msn.com/slideshow/what-it-feels-lose-100-pounds/slide/13

Vacation!

Well, hello there! 

Yes, it has been awhile yet again, but I am ready to get this thing rolling again -- along with my weight loss endeavors!

My husband and I just returned to Dallas from our stomping grounds -- Michigan.  We were in the Great Lake State for two wonderfully fullfilling and incredibly indulgent weeks.  And by indulgent, I mean in every way.  I always feel totally fine saying, "It's okay, I'm on vacation!" until I get home and realize that my fatigue is only partially thanks to whirlwind visits with friends and family, lack of sleep, and 20 hours of driving.  The majority of my puffiness overall lack of energy is thanks to -- you guessed it -- junk eating and overdoing it.  Oh, and I can't forget the drinks...oh dear.  It's time to get back to work!

Before leaving for Michigan, I weighed in at 161.  I've hovered right around goal weight for a while now.  I suppose if you've read other posts, you already know that!  :)  I told myself that once I got back to the Big D, I'd get my big ol' booty inactive and overfed bottom back to counting points and exercising regularly.  After all, I'm not some prize winning animal in a 4H program -- I'm a newlywed preparing for fall and winter months.  You know, the months when pumpkin spice and sweet snickerdoodle smells are always in the air if you live at Bath & Body Works.  I love to bake delicious treats in the coming months and must prepare diligently -- it's time to break out the Weight Watcher recipes and get creative with sugar/oil/egg substitutes! 

Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but it's true to my nature to overthink and worry about the future.  But as I think I've mentioned before, my weight and the food I use to nourish my body is something I can control.  If I prepare now for the onslaught of delicious treats, I may be able to avoid eating way too much of the wrong foods.  Yes, my battle plans are converging!  As I prepare for the fall and winter months like a squirrel packing away nuts, I'll be sure to include my findings here in my bloggity blog.

In the meantime, keep checking in and reminding me to write in this thing.  I know I've been bad at it, so I am not beyond asking for help.  My hope is to reach goal weight (160) and then attempt another 10 pounds!  Ah yes, a svelt 150 sounds just about perfect!  Suppose I can aim to be there before Christmas...what a wonderful gift to myself that would be!

And one more thing before I sign off -- looks like Charlie and I will be doing the Dallas Half-Marathon on December 9th.  Must register soon!  Very few things motivate me to run quite like dropping $100 on a race!  So worth it.  :)

Confidence is beautiful

So many wonderful days have passed.  Charlie and I flew to Michigan on Friday to be a part of a wedding celebration of two of our best friends.  Seeing all of our close and very dear friends from Michigan is always such a special treat.  It's incredible that six months may pass without a hug -- but as soon as we are with one another again, it's like we pick up where we left off -- and there are lots of hugs to make up for all we missed! 

By the time I got to see all of these friends at Christmas/the New Year, I had already lost nearly 30 pounds.  Since then, I've lost almost another 30.  Setting aside the numbers and math, I think the biggest difference I have experienced is the change in confidence.  Less worried about what people think, and more interested in just enjoying myself.  I put on my beautiful bridesmaid dress, a killer pair of heels, and a smile -- and hadn't felt this beautiful since my own wedding day.  It was enigmatic and absolutely incredible.  All of our special and wonderful friends had accepted me as I was, and as I am now, and they've all continued to be so supportive and loving.


I no longer feel trapped in the body and mind of a girl seeking acceptance and guidance.  Instead, I am starting to feel like a woman with purpose.  How fitting it seems to have come across this realization while several thousand feet in the air. 

Report Card

Diet?  Derailed.  Lifestyle -- still on track...ish.

In the world in which I am currently living, sleep has been my biggest concern.  Sleep is important for weight loss, among SEVERAL other things.  Also, my stress level is high and I can't seem to shut my brain off long enough to get a good stretch of restless sleep.  I have gotten reeeeeally good at falling asleep while sitting up.  At 8:00pm.  On Friday nights.  I love Summer Camp, and I am in love with what I do, but I am wiped out!!

What I am trying to say is...I've lost a little bit of my punch.  My zing.  My go get 'em attitude toward these last stinkin' pounds.  I have not and I will not admit failure because I am so close!!  This last pound better surrender, but I know it won't go down with out a fight.

In good news, according to my last weight in I am 1.2 lbs away from goal.  I went to the doctor last week, and for the first time ever, I was excited to get on the scale.  The fat girl inside me shuddered, but I got on that device and smiled like a crazed teenage beauty queen with petroleum jelly on her teeth.  According to that fancy schmancy doctor scale, I was only .2 lbs from goal.  After sharing this news on facebook, and old friend of mine said, "Accounting for the weight of your clothes, you have hit your goal."  I hadn't thought of it like that -- and I won't. 

My scale will read the results to me.  It has become something like an old friend -- reliable, inspiring, truthful, and capable of putting up with me.  Each morning, when I pull it out from under my bed and place it lovingly on the white tile floor of the bathroom, something sort of zen-like happens:  One deep breath.  One foot.  Two feet.  Steady -- look down.  Another deep breath.  Think about results.

I've continued this same Thursday morning ritual, but I've got to be honest -- I have not been counting points or tracking activity.  For the past three weeks, I've spent each weekday outside from 8:00 am to 2:30 pm, in Texas heat, walking the grounds of the Country Club with a backpack on.  I swear I must sweat a gallon or two each day.  The kids are served the most ridiculously kid-friendly foods from a buffet, which is where my food comes from as well.  I love chicken tenders, hot dogs, mac and cheese...but those things do not love me!

I don't overindulge, and maybe that, paired with the insane amount of walking/sweating I do each day, is the reason I have managed to hover right around the same number.  Not really gaining much, not really losing much, but hovering menacingly around that dream number.  Scratch that -- reality number.  I've maybe lost some of my excitement with the introduction of missing sleep and increased stress, but I will hit that stinkin' goal!

I've got my handy dandy vitals print out from the doctor hanging like a report card on the refrigerator.  With only 1.2 lbs to go, I've got to earn that A+ I set out to achieve. 

Support -- great for bras AND weight loss!

For the gals out there with a sincere appreciation for a good bra -- you know the importance of support and comfort.  Think of what it feels like when you throw on an old one with stretched out elastic.  Funny how that undergarment can make you feel less attractive and uncomfortable, right?  Well, that's pretty much how I feel about support from loved ones in my weight loss journey.

I am so fortunate to have an outstanding support system.  I chose to start this journey on my own, but I could never have achieved the success I've had without the encouragement, the kind words, and the simple reminders I have received from my loved ones.

At work one day, a member of the Country Club said, "Carlie, you look absolutely fabulous!  You're husband must feel like he's got a brand new wife!"  I laughed a little, thanked her for the compliment, and walked away feeling sort embarrassed...and ashamed.  I got really upset with myself for waiting until AFTER the wedding to start losing weight.  I was just angry about how I had completely let myself go.  The idea that my husband might have ever thought me less attractive at my heaviest simply broke my heart, even though this was never the case.

As I've said before, this weight loss journey started for me.  It is still for me.  But I've gotta say, it's been a great experience for both of us.  Charlie hasn't gotten a new wife -- he's still just got me.  But he does have a more confident, more energetic, and much happier me.  We both appreciate this.

Charlie is so honest, so loving, and so supportive of all of my endeavors (like learning to play the banjo, writing more poetry, etc).  My mother and my in-laws are understanding and full of great advice.  My friends are all of this AND they love to celebrate.  How blessed am I to have all of this?

It's true...my family and friends are the Spanx of all undergarments.

I haven't actually disappeared...

Wow, I cannot believe the way time passes when life is just somersaulting from month to month.  My wonderful mother-in-law mentioned to me over a week ago that I've been away from this blog and that she and her Weight Watchers group were wondering where the heck I'd gone off to.  Well, I'm back!  And I need this.  Badly.  Because unfortunately, I am without a whole lot of great weight-loss news.

The week before last, I was down one pound, putting me at 164.  The poundage is coming off soooo muuuuuuch mooooooore slooooooooooooowly right now, but I understand it as my body letting me know that I set a realistic goal.  Since that weigh-in, work has been absolutely insane.  As a Youth Activities Coordinator with Summer Camp just around the corner, it's just been a little hectic.  And the weekend following that one-pound loss was a bit more party-rific than it should have been.  I felt entitled, like I was allowed to let loose or to wind-down.  This, to some extent, is okay.  But I went out of control.

And last weigh-in, I found that I gained .7 lbs right back.  4.7 lbs to go.

Sure, I was disappointed.  I wasn't expecting loss, but was less than thrilled with gaining nearly a full pound back.  But I certainly didn't dwell on it.  This is when it's important to understand to accept what I cannot change and change what I cannot accept.  I can't time travel back to that Friday night margarita and queso Mexi-fest with friends.  We had a fabulous time!  But my body has taught me that I can have a an insanely good time without going out of control with food and drinks.  My brain has taught me that I cannot accept failing in this journey.  I've made it this far and there are no excuses not to keep it up.

A great rule that I need to embrace more thoroughly is to avoid drinking calories/points.  Or at least set a cap on drinkable points per day. Crystal light is my best friend...and Mio!  Water is absolutely essential in losing weight.

Maybe a part of me stayed away from the blog because I didn't want to have to confront the weight gain by letting everyone know.  I'm not entirely sure...but I know that I am not ashamed.  There's was a serious sense of pride and joy when I lost the first 5, 10,  20 pounds.  I can say I've lost over 50 now.  That pride still resonates and reminds me that I am in control.  We are in control. We can make the changes to things we will not accept.

I'm a loser, baby

So, yesterday morning would have typically been weigh-in time.  However, yesterday was not a typical day.  Somehow, my husband and I both neglected to set alarms.  He woke up at 8:03 am and said, "Crap," to which I replied, "Wait, is it Thursday?" and we both quickly jumped out of bed, calling and emailing our jobs.  Ugh...not a good feeling to be that rushed in the morning.  Needless to say, weighing in was not at the top of my priority list.

When I finally did weigh myself late yesterday afternoon, I was less than thrilled with the result:  166.3.  I am not disappointed or upset, just not thrilled.  0.2 lbs lost.  That is still success.  I still lost.  Now, on to losing the final 6.3!!

Lately, the battle of the bulge has boiled down to exercise.  The diet -- the lifestyle, I should say -- is swell.  But the lack of exercise lately is certainly a culprit in the lack of poundage lost.  And it's not only the scale that is relaying this message to me -- my dogs are also letting me know.  They are also a lot happier after a good long walk, or a fun jog.  If not for me, the exercise is essential for them.  Motivation!

So, let's get off the couch, reach for the leashes/tennis rackets/gym bag/jump rope and get moving. 

Blame it on the Alcohol...but own it.

I've been away for a while, but I'm back!

The weigh-in last week (Thursday 4/12) didn't go as I hoped, but crossing fingers doesn't count as a weight loss trick.  I didn't lose any weight, but I also didn't gain any.  I stayed right at my previous weight.

One of the great things about Weight Watchers is the tracking method.  It was no surprise that I hadn't lost any weight -- looking back on the week, there were a great deal of choices I made that weren't the best for me, especially when it came down to drinks.

Celebrations, like holidays, are tough times to stick to diet plans.  Simply spending time with friends who have no worries about watching what they eat can also make your will crumble.  Sure, I'll have a breadstick...or two...can I have more cheese on this one?  Should we just get a pitcher of beer?  It'll be more cost-effective.  It goes on and on.  And I made this mistake, and I will own it.  No one made me eat a slice of pizza, and no one made me drink a beer or two.  And I am not concerned with my having done this one evening, but Easter and a meal out AND a lack of exercise certainly did not lend a helping hand in getting closer to my goal.  But that's on me.

I will not dwell on one unsuccessful week.  Instead, it's important to learn from the choices I've made and continue to pursue my goal with the same excitement and patience that I have had since the beginning.  I've let this be a lesson in self-control.

Once the introduction of alcohol (delicious, caloric, enjoyable alcohol...) has made it to the table, our will to watch what we eat becomes more dilapidated.  Throughout this journey, I've continued to indulge (yes, just like brownies or fondue, alcohol is an indulgence) in the occasional glass of wine with dinner, beer with popcorn, or cocktail with friends.  In doing so, it's important to tailor the rest of the day's choices and create a limit.  Once you've indulged too much, you're less likely to make good food choices, but we already know this, right?  It's just important to remember that the good ol' college-style run to Taco Bell after a night of drinking really isn't a great idea...and really never was (but I don't regret it! Haha). 

In your weight loss journey, don't dwell on days gone "not so well".  Review, learn, and move on...and don't get sloppy on cosmos.  :)

Thursday = Weigh-in day!

Weight Watchers has completely changed the way I approach food.  I think so much more about what I eat.  Not in an obsessive way, but in an educated and interested way.  I simply can't say enough about how much I've learned by trying to eat foods I want by reinventing them -- or still just eating them, in a smaller quantity. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting yourself eat "junk" every once in a while.  HOWEVER, the attitude that you have about food cannot be altered after having a slice of pizza or two one night!  If I could go back and tell myself to stop thinking, "Well, I didn't do well last night, so might as well enjoy what I want tonight as well.  I'll get back to the diet tomorrow,"  I might have lost all this weight forever ago!

That's the slippery slope that so many people talk about.

I can't stress the importance of knowing that having a slice of cheesecake is not a diet ruiner! But, it also won't make you feel great.  Sometimes, I think I deserve a reward for my hard work, so I let myself have chips and queso.  Chips and queso do not love me as much as I once loved them.  But I don't obsess about it or feel like a failure because every morning, I wake up with a brand new day to make brand new decisions in.

Starting weight:  220
Last week:  168
Today:  166.5

6.5 lbs to go to hit goal weight.  I am ecstatic!!!

Shopping

It's not a secret -- I absolutely LOVE shopping.  There are not many things that get me more giddy than when I walk out of a store with a brand new pair of jeans!  or pair of shoes! or sweater!  Even when I had gained all the weight, I enjoyed shopping.  But now, I love it so much that it's nearly a problem!

People laugh when I say things like, "Man, I'm going to have to buy a new pair of pants."  They laugh because it seems like such a silly "problem" to have to put up with while losing weight.  It's only a "problem" because I already have the shopping appetite of a 1980's mall rat.  Never having the need for much (if any) of an excuse to shop, dropping sizes is like a drug...I just have to have more clothes!  Clothes that fit!

I'm getting better about setting guidelines for my shopping addiction, and I'm certainly not robbing my husband or myself of our savings.  It's just so much fun to see what I can fit into now!

I've been motivated to get healthy.  That's how this whole thing began.  But now, I'm totally motivated by setting limitations to my shopping habit -- if I hit a certain goal, I am allowed to buy a certain thing I need.  I own shorts now!  Shorts!  Rarely if EVER did I wear shorts last summer (or ever, once again) and in Dallas, that's TOUGH.  I was ashamed of my legs and how awful I looked in shorts.  Also, I hated how much my thighs would rub together so much that my shorts would creep up into...well, that's enough of that because I think you get the picture.  So I got away with wearing jersey skirts for the most part, but that doesn't keep your thighs from rubbing.  Oh, the heat rash!!  Yowzers!

Anyway, I bring all of this up because not everything about weight has to be about health and numbers.  It can be about finding an outfit to show off a new sense of security.  Wearing a two-piece bathing suit.  Fitting into a dress you wore on your first date.  After all, nothing is more sexy than confidence, so if you've got it, love it!

Eatin' Well

Sometimes, I get cravings that I can only compare to those of an exceedingly hormonal pregnant woman.  And really, I don't really have any idea how much exceedingly hormonal pregnant women crave things, but I can only imagine it's at least as bad as I do every once in a while!

Last night, the craving was for Chinese food.  Mmm...deep friend anything covered in high-calorie sauce and plenty of puffiness-inducing, sodium-packed soy sauce.  Egg drop soup with loads of crispy, deep fried wonton strips. Can't forget the side of fried rice, either.  Putting this food into words, however, really does make it sound less appetizing, right?  How about describing the makings of a fast food cheeseburger or chicken "nuggets"?  Okay, I know, we see enough about this stuff in the media (ah, delicious ammonia-treated boneless lean beef trimmings), but are we REALLY seeing it?  Are we REALLY engaged in this battle against our bodies and our health?

Alright, enough already.  The purpose of this is not to go off the deep end about the vast and growing issues with the production of large quantities of cheap, eco-terrorizing and nutrition-less crap that we sometimes grab because we simply are too tired to cook dinner or crave it terribly.  I really just want to highlight the simplicity of thinking about food in a different way, maybe by just putting it into words.  As you reach for a not-so-healthy food, try asking yourself, What does this do for me?  What is it made of?  How could I reinvent this to make it more nutritious? 

I had homemade egg drop soup last night with homemade spring rolls.  Hit. The. Spot.  My husband and I made this dinner together after one heck of a long day.  The meal was wonderful and was almost as good as the time we spent together making it.  It was a double-whammy of happiness-inducing good stuff.

For the spring rolls, you only need a few ingredients:

Wonton/egg roll wrappers
Olive oil
Coleslaw (this can be purchased pre-slawed...you know, without the dressing...)
Low sodium soy sauce
Pinch of sugar
Broccoli (if you like it -- try other veggies too, like green onion!)

While the oven gets pre-heated to 375 degrees, heat 2 tsp of olive oil over medium heat.  Add coleslaw (one small package will do the trick -- we used Dole brand last night) and stir until softened.  Add 1 Tbsp of low-sodium soy sauce and pinch of sugar until blended.  Let cool slightly.  Spray baking sheet with nonstick spray.  To prepare rolls, simply wet the edges of each wrapper with water (using your fingertips works just fine).  Spoon about a 1/2 cup of prepared filling onto the middle of the wrapper.  Fold two corners toward the center, then finish by rolling one remaining corner over the filling and to the other.  Place on baking sheet and lightly spray with nonstick spray.  Bake until golden (roughly 15-17 minutes).  Delicious!  Plus, you can totally add a dash of sesame seeds to the mix.  Nothing fried.  :)

For the soup, we just heated some organic low-sodium chicken broth (vegetable broth works great too!) with chopped green onion and bok choy (if you haven't tried bok choy yet, your are missing out!).  Once the broth and veggies are brought to a boil, lower to medium heat.  Scramble an egg or two in a bowl.  While stirring the broth, pour the egg into it slowly.  We added a little cayenne pepper and garlic powder as well, to give it a little extra oomph.

I would be a total hypocrite if I said I never ever eat fast food, or that I never dine out.  I do.  However, those outings are considered special occasions, or even sometimes necessary.  It's difficult to argue with the options available outside of gas station munchies while on a long road trip.  I definitely enjoy a good meal out, but I really enjoy a great meal in.

Time Frame

The number one reason I failed in every other attempt I made to lose weight? Not seeing/feeling results and feeling as though I was working too hard to not have immediate change.  But does it really make sense to lose weight quickly?  Did an extra 30 lbs add to my frame after my first frat party in college?  Weight doesn't add to our bodies immediately, so we can't expect that it will shed immediately.

Here are some before and after photos that I made when some friends had asked me to show the changes.

Before: July 2011 at my best friend's wedding - easily one of the best celebrations EVER!  

After:  February 7th, 2012 - 21.4 lbs from goal weight (total weight lost: 38.6 lbs) 

Before: November 2010 at Cowboys Dance Hall with our friends from Michigan -- they spent the Thanksgiving holiday with us here in Dallas!   

After:  February 7th, 2012 - 21.4 lbs from goal weight (total weight lost: 38.6 lbs) 

 Before: The best day of my life!  September 17, 2011.  

After: February 7th, 2012 - 21.4 lbs from goal weight (total weight lost: 38.6 lbs) 

 Before: November 2011 - one month into Weight Watchers

After:  March 23, 2012 - 10.2 lbs from goal weight (total weight lost: 49.8 lbs)

 Before:  November 2011 - one month into Weight Watchers  

After: March 23, 2012 - 10.2 lbs from goal weight (total weight lost: 49.8 lbs)

I love that in some of these pictures our puppy proofing techniques are visible (yes, our dogs are incapable of being left alone without destroying our furniture...joy).  

After the first month of this adventure, my pants started to fit a little better.  My energy level started climbing.  In month two, running with my husband became more fun, and my distance started improving.  By Thanksgiving, I ran my first 5k (I completed a 5k in July, and another in October, but had walked half of both of them).  By the time we went home to Michigan for Christmas and the New Year, friends and family were seeing the changes.  

Since January, the weight loss has gotten harder, but the proof that it's working is there and it would be silly not to keep it up!  Patience is so important.  If I had given up the week when I had only lost half a pound, or gained one (that happens, and it's totally OK!), I can only imagine what I'd be trying next.  

So stick to it -- we owe it to ourselves.

Accountability!

Thursdays are weigh-in days.  Usually, I wake up a little early on these days due to excitement.  That's right, it's not a typo -- I get excited about weighing in.  I do it on the scale we bought the day before I started Weight Watchers, in our little master bathroom, usually with my husband at my side.  Meetings are not a part of my program because I am doing it online, so the level of expectation regarding those pesky digital numbers is based solely on my early morning brain activity.  This may not work for everyone, but it has been great for me.  The biggest hurdle?  Accountability.

There is something kind of funny about realizing that no matter who you are, what you do, how you live, your weight is your weight.  It is either your problem, or not a problem at all.  But it is not your mother's problem, or your bosses problem -- it's all yours.  Eh, maybe it's not all that funny, but it sure is sobering.

I gained a buttload great deal of weight after my father passed away.  I was a sophomore in high school and had so much support and love, but food was always around and available for comfort.  It only got worse when I got to college and enjoyed a fair amount of beer and other various empty calories (thank you buffets and frat parties!).  However, as I recall, I made the choice to indulge in these things.  Ah yes, the accountability part that isn't so fun to come to terms with.

When I decided that enough was enough, I hadn't weighed myself in...well...forever.  I literally had no clue when I  had last weighed myself.  Correction: I didn't know the last time I had LOOKED at my weight.  I would go to the doctor, walk to the scale, and ask politely that my weight not be spoken.  Usually I would say something along the lines of, "I know I need to lose some weight -- please don't tell me what the scale says."  I was always hiding from something that I was and am completely accountable for.

This morning, I got on that scale, looked down, and breathed a big ol' sigh of accomplishment when I did the groggy math and realized I had lost 2.2 lbs.  I entered 168 into my Weight Watchers tracker, and enjoyed seeing my goal get so much closer!  These feel good mornings keep me accountable!

If you are ready to start your own weight loss journey, make sure you find a way to keep yourself accountable.  This does not mean stressing yourself by purchasing a bridesmaid dress 2 sizes smaller and expecting to fit into it for your best friend's wedding in 3 months -- this might work for some people, but I personally think this kind of stress is not so great.  Embrace your motivation and stick with it -- once you start feeling the changes, remaining accountable will begin to feel like second nature.

I must add, that most of my success is thanks to a great weight loss program, personal motivation, and a husband that has always loved me, regardless of weight or size.  In fact, he came home one day, gave me a huge hug, and said, "I almost stopped at Wendy's for lunch today.  I didn't, because I felt like I would be cheating on you."  I nearly peed my pants laughing, but he really meant it!  He has been so strong in this adventure with me, providing a great deal of support.  And on top of it all, I've encountered such kind words on Facebook and from friends and family -- and even have had some people reach out to me for help in their weight loss.  This has become so much more than I could have ever imagined.

So, let's do this.  Let's keep travelin'.

Starting weight:  220 lbs
Current weight:  168 lbs
Goal weight:  160

8 lbs to go!

Blog Beginnings!

My name is Carlie. I married my best friend on September 17, 2011. I wore a lovely white dress and had the wedding of my dreams on my in-law's farm, and danced the night away in a barn. I've always been an active individual, a lover of the outdoors, and a person slightly obsessed with food. Ever heard the saying, "I live to eat, not eat to live" -- yeah, I lived by that for a while. Never purposely trying to hurt my health by eating the wrong foods, I really just actively chose to eat what I enjoyed eating. I am now 50 lbs lighter than I was when I got married just 6 1/2 months ago AND I still enjoy eating.

This journey began after the wedding because I feared that stepping into a weight-loss program while planning a wedding would simply be too stressful. Now, that line of thinking seems like a total cop-out. I had heard somewhere that starting a new diet at the beginning of a month aids success, so I started Weight Watchers on October 1, 2011. I nearly crapped myself flipped when I saw the number on the scale when I weighed in for the first time. Never having been a fan of scales anyway, this was not in the least bit encouraging. It wasn't until the second weigh-in that I received my encouragement badge -- SO worth having to look down at those digital numbers from hell.

Like any adventure, this one has had its share of cliches -- ups and downs, twists and turns -- you get the picture. It's also ongoing. I am learning new things about this lifestyle, and myself, every single day. For instance, I plan to share my weight in this blog. *GASP* Yes, my weight...in numbers...for anyone to see. Would I have done this 6 1/2 months ago? Hahaha, NO. Understand that I did not start to lose weight to please anyone. I did not lose weight to prove anything to anyone else, only to myself. I wanted to get healthy, and I am enjoying the changes my body (I've always loved shopping!).

So, I invite you to join me in traveling along the path of self-acceptance and eagerness to succeed in whatever goal you have in mind. Please bring a sense of humor and leave behind any judginess. 

Beginning Weight: 220 lbs
Pants Size: 18
Dress Size: 16

Current Weight: 170 lbs
Pants Size: 12
Dress size: 10